AIRPORT GUIDE FOR CUNTS: DRESS UP AND RUN

hi its me and i am blogging from the phone for the very first time! am sitting on a Ryanair plane to paris. Usually i belong to the easyjetset so this is interesting. have been traveling a lot lately and i am seing some patterns so here is my travel guide to cph airport

not an advice but the truth: i always fly super early and always go to bed really late and pack/party all night. bad combo really. HOWEVER: my advice for packing is pick a character for ur trip. i chose business barbie for this trip so my suitcase contains three different waistcoasts, a pinstriped corsets, crisp shirts, a tie and suit pants and heels. ur tired the next day but the lack of sleep makes u electric in the airport 

DRESS UP!!!! i've said it before......seing so many grey fruit of the loom tracksuits in the airport. teenagers go for leisure wear like they are stuck in this King Kylie era and dont know better but my many travels have taught me that dressing up gets u out of trouble. I used to be a sloppy traveller too but they would always pick me out for the rutine check…. Today i wear my highest heels and my jpg leather jacket. And when they scan my nasty handbag they suspect nothing cus i’m serving not so quiet luxery

RUN dramatically towards the Security boarding pass scanner. They usually let u thru fast track if u do this. Only works if u dress up.  If ur in heels the click-clacking enhances the drama and they will know from a distance that a hot mess is on its way

WALK THRU TAX FREE, pick up the lil sas wagon and place ur luggage here. also a prominent trick from five finger discount shoppers. i’ve heard its an easy trick to steal like this however i dont do this cus im an American girl that needs to go home every once in while in stead i rub the 300§ LA MER creme in my tired face and spray on some byredo and i'm fab for the flight

Smokers lounge in cph is not fab vibes but the real ones are there.
Pay 20 kr for the massage chair in the easy jetset lounge (this is what i call the area at the end of the area for cheap flights! if ur gate is not called F8 (fate) ur too rich to read my blog. 
Always board as the last person. Listen to shlohmo on the plain (have done this since i was a teenager lol) and wear sunnies or sleep mask no matter how long/short the trip is. 

bon voyage bellas

xoxo

this series of photos i proposed to a brand as a bag design years ago. with heels in stead of guns tho on boho-shaped bags. i had to come up with a cheap non leather design. and i HATE pleather so i suggested xray prints on canvas boho bags. actually x-ray in general i was obsessed with in this time. i also proposed a campaign shot only with x-ray for a jewellery brand. i mean its the perfect hardware campaign....?

they never made any of them but today i'm seeing lots of messy miu miu bags and scanned bags from vaquera. 

xray footage and bodylike prints are an old trotter in the fashion cycle tho. think margiala and galliano. 90s. they did it before JPG who is really famous for it now. i am not a designer nor an innovator. i just see time and cycles differently and probably clearer than most.

i always thought i was bad at fashion cus all my propositions have been turned down so many times or not went into production and the client went with something that seemed boring to me instead. and then three years later i see big brands doing those excact ideas. its the fate of a trendforecaster/someone in touch with zeitgeist/future/fashion shamanism. u are never understood at the time ur vibing hard over something and then two/three years later the whole world is all about it. its a lonely journey. remember i did "problematic" tshirts way before barragan and all those brands. just an example. i dont do anything to be cool and doing something before its cool is not considered cool its considered weird. trend forecasters and Aquarius ppl will know.